New YouTube Program Gives Points For Reporting and Mass Flagging Videos, But Not Money

YouTube has introduced its new Stasi where users can “report negative content” to the authorities or “mass flag videos” that they don’t like. For cleaning up YouTube, users win valuable points and rise to become higher levels of “hero.”

Users may win special perks as points accumulate. As levels increase, users may get to play with yet another computer “dashboard,” receive “training” at “exclusive workshops,” and even “get a sneak peak at new products.” Users may also “test new features” well before they wind up in the Google Graveyard.

Eventually, these heroes will be able to make videos to show off the huge scores and the “hard work” they did for free to become such big stars. Most incredibly, as they get near the highest level, they may “Contact YouTube staff directly.” That is truly unprecedented.

The “hero” job is unpaid, but the points look good. Minimum wages generally apply only if person gets a wage at all.

It’s all explained in a new video by the account called “YouTube Help.” So far, nobody has said a disparaging world about the new product. “Comments are disabled for this video.” The “YouTube Help” video has received many points itself — 24,403 thumbs down and 1,133 thumbs up at press time.

Here is the video. Transcript is below.

Here is the transcript:

  • You work hard to make YouTube better for everyone…
  • And like all heroes, you deserve a place to call home.
  • WELCOME YOUTUBE HEROES.
  • GAIN POINTS WHEN YOU …
  • Add captions or subtitles to a video (We will need scissors)
  • Report negative content
  • Or share your knowledge with others
  • Level 1: Become a hero
  • Access the heroes dashboard
  • Join the community
  • Level 2: Continue your training
  • Learn more at exclusive workshops
  • Take part in hero video chats
  • Level 3: Unlock super tools
  • Mass flag videos (report, report, report)
  • Help moderate community content
  • Level 4: Go behind the scenes
  • Get a sneak peek at new products
  • Contact YouTube staff directly
  • Level 5: Access top hero perks
  • Test new features before release
  • Apply for the Heroes Summit
  • YOUTUBE HEROES
  • Because all heroes deserve a little GLORY